Nothing compares to a good night out. Wednesday socials, weekend events, the humble house party. What could go wrong?
Loads apparently. Quite often. Liability friends go missing, alcohol tolerances become misconstrued, the dreaded ‘beer goggles’ come into affect. Night outs have the ability to descend into total anarchy, forming blurred memories soaked in regret and self-hatred.
Oh God, enough of that, no more. It doesn’t need to happen, I promise that a seamless Friday night exists. Preparation is needed, however, you’re required to put the groundwork in. Here’s my foolproof guide to a great night out.
Round up the troops
Getting together a good group is essential. It doesn’t need to be half of Europe, just a reliable team that won’t let you down. Let go of anyone who drinks sourz, rose or anything that’s blue. You heard me loud and clear.
I’m not suggesting anyone should start drinking at 7… actively avoid drinking at 7. Early preparation refers to the getting-ready process, lining your stomach, going to Co-op before it shuts.
Tickets should be bought, outfits chosen and the speaker secured. Anything left to the last minute will cause future chaos.
Lucozade by bed
This step deserves its own section, its own book in fact. A full feature film needs to be made about this step. It. Changes. The. Game.
I didn’t spend three years obliterating my liver to not put this on the internet. Get your pre-night-out legs and RUN to the nearest corner shop. Buy a Lucozade, or two (depending on large-ness of the night ahead) and put them by your bed. Thank me later.
Saying NO to nonsense
You are the ambassador of the night ahead and have a duty to eliminate nonsense.
This means sticking to a few rules:
- No crying over boys.
- Making sure everyone leaves the house at pre’s.
- Avoiding insecurity breakdowns by removing unflattering mirrors.
- Getting every member of your night-out team on Snapmaps or Find My Friends.
- No talk of politics.
- A check for key belongings (phone, wallet, keys) every 45 minutes.
With spiking high on the news agenda, watching out for mates is essential when trying to achieve a foolproof night out.
It seems utterly despicable that the threat of spiking has to be considered when going to a place that serves alcohol. Nevertheless, as long as morally abject criminals exist, protecting both yourself and your friends is vital.
Never leave your drink alone. Don’t accept drinks off strangers. If you notice any odd behaviour, let the door staff know, no matter how big or small (they’re employed to keep you safe).
It’s unbelievably important to set the precedent that predatory behaviour isn’t acceptable.
With these tips, hopefully your night out should be foolproof, or as foolproof as a night out can be!
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