The beginning of term means only one thing: student loan. Forget feeling revitalised and ready to learn, you’re no longer a grand into your overdraft. Naturally what comes next is a blur. Suddenly you’re going to the pub every day, buying new trainers and shopping at Sainbury’s rather than Lidl. You’ve bought a Pret subscription, LED lights for your bedroom and keep offering to get the Uber at the end of a night out.
Three weeks in and your card gets declined. Damn! How long until the next student loan?
A similar scenario happens three times and year and every time you’ll find yourself seemingly more broke than the last. While I’m no Martin Lewis, I’ve gone through periods of surviving solely on chickpeas and air. Following this I present:
‘How to survive when your bank account is looking sparse’
Stage 1: Admittance
Like many of life’s problems, being honest with yourself is the first step to everything getting better.
Things got out of control this time. You didn’t need to buy every soul you met on Friday night a drink. Nor was it necessary to live off Deliveroo for two weeks. Although you might be surrounded by some nice things and good memories, at least tell yourself that it won’t happen again.
Stage 2: Big Swaps
Now comes the time called ‘Big Swaps’. This means swapping everything you’ve ever loved for a worse version. De Cecco Penne? It’s Hubbard Kitchen now, darling. You need to stay in your lane and scale back.
Walking is now your best friend. Taking the bus is a treat. There will be no more naughty cafe breakfasts and ASOS binging for the foreseeable.
Even though you’re broke, never prevent yourself from socialising under the pretence that this can’t be done for free. Have a film night, go to the park or try window shopping. If you can’t say no to a going out-out invite, buy these pouches for the club. Thank me later.
Stage 3: Flourishing
As dark and dreary as this all might initially seem, the ‘Big Swaps’ stage often results in a true sense of thriftiness. Packed lunches feel ingenious, takeaway coffees seem completely futile and, if a generous friend offers to buy you a pint, you’ll feel ecstatic.
Use this newfound wisdom to your advantage and actually save some money. Stop buying bloody ice cubes and make sure to boast to your parents about ‘how good you’re being with money’. This might lead to a financial reward or points on the responsibility front.
If none of these tips seem to be working, or you find yourself addicted to the finer things in life, get a job. Working for an agency is flexible and can result in quick money. Just make sure you don’t tell them how bad you are with money. At least not until they’ve worked it out for themselves!
Read next: What it’s like working at the students’ union bar