Of all the connections you make at university, relationships with lecturers will be one of the strangest. Although they are there to teach you, they are friendly, casual and very attentive. I am still in touch with many of my lecturers because of how great they were. University life generally has a pretty chilled vibe, including the lecturers. But not all of them are groovy. Having a bad experience with a lecturer can often affect you pretty badly, so here are a few tips on how to deal with the unlikely event that you end up with a lecturer you can’t gel with.
Don’t rock the boat, just nudge it
If something has happened between you and a lecturer that you feel you want to get off your chest, it’s a good idea to have a conversation with them. Perhaps a sarcastic comment or an ignored email has annoyed you. But, if you discuss this with your lecturer, you will likely find that they are often apologetic or understanding of your frustrations. If something has genuinely hurt you or made you feel uncomfortable, and you feel that you can confront a lecturer in a way which won’t make things worse or get you in trouble, then definitely do it.
But if you don’t think it would help the situation, leave it, or discuss the matter with another trusted lecturer.
Don’t take certain things personally
On a rare ocassion when a lecturer seems rude or blunt, it probably isn’t anything to do with you. Lecturers work incredibly hard to mark assignments, teach students and help outside of university time. Don’t take certain things too personally, as often there is no need. If your lecturer is having a bad week then they will most likely be fine soon after.
I once walked into a lecture and saw that only a few people had showed up. I said ‘Is this it?’, to which my lecturer replied ‘How rude, it would have been nicer to say hello first!’ This lecturer was normally lovely and very calm, so this incident surprised me, and embarrassed me. At the end of the lecture, I apologised for not saying hello first, but before I could tell him that his reaction was a little out of order, he said sorry to me too.
Sometimes people act out of character, even those who are there to help and support you. This doesn’t mean anything, and it should never be made into a big deal. Another way to determine whether or not you are being unfairly treated is to have a chat with one of your course mates. If they get the same treatment, or perhaps think you are being treated strangely, this is often a good indication of whether or not you are being unfairly singled out.
Prevent any tensions between yourself and a lecturer
A lot of my course mates during my first and second year were pretty laid back about their studies, and there came a point where it was obvious that they weren’t the class favourites. To avoid creating any unnecessary tensions between you and your course leaders, here are some don’ts:
- NEVER turn in any submissions late
- DON’T turn up to lectures late (consistently)
- NEVER talk or mess around in lectures
- DON’T leave the lecture during the break (the lecturer will notice!)
Although these seem pretty silly or obvious, if you struggle to stop these things from happening, it is inevitable that your lecturer will assume you are not interested in doing the best that you can. Basically, remember why you are at university, and that is to get a great degree. Lecturers are there to help you, and ultimately it is super easy to get along with them. Just make sure you aren’t giving them any reasons to think you aren’t taking your studies seriously!
Don’t let anything affect your studies!
If you’ve had a brush up with one of your lecturers, it is easy to then decide that you will not want to attend their lectures, or even feel uncomfortable in their presence. But don’t let this affect your studies, and certainly don’t let it affect your chances at getting extra help.
Make sure that your attendance doesn’t slip either. It’s not worth it. Plus, it may give your lecturer an excuse not to ease any tensions with you. It is easy to say ‘don’t let it affect you’, but of course university is important, and if you are really struggling then perhaps discuss the matter with a counsellor or another one of your lecturers.
Ultimately, lecturers are there to help and support you. So, no matter what happens, they won’t make a conscious effort to make your lectures or course more difficult for you. If you feel that they are, please make sure you mention this to somebody, as it is unacceptable and won’t be tolerated.