If you thought that finding ‘your people’ at university was terrifying, try finding them in the big wide world of postgrad.
Following on from my last post about finding friends at uni, I’m hoping to share some of my tips about finding ‘your people’ after you graduate.
Obviously, you don’t lose all of your uni friends overnight after you graduate. In fact, here‘s why some of your uni friends are there to stay.
Naturally, however, when you don’t see the same people every day, you drift. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and although it might be a bit sad, it makes you appreciate the time that you did spend together. You can continue to build on older friendships, but now is also the time to start forming new ones.
How to find your people after university:
Social Media
Social media is a saving grace for postgrad friendships. Instagram accounts like @newgraduate and @galswhograduate have made me feel less lonely, and a part of something bigger. These accounts have replicated the university camaraderie that I struggled with the loss of after I graduated.
Effort
Unlike in education, where you are thrown into a room together for five days a week, adult friendships are more chaotic. They take regular maintenance and sometimes, A LOT of planning. Being available every Tuesday when your friend is available every Thursday is a common occurrence, so plan. Plan a short holiday together, or a day trip months in advance. Also, make an effort to see your work friends outside of work, you will see a different side to people.
Regular Habits
Become a regular at the Indie coffee shop on the corner, take your favourite book and see how many people ask you about it. Instigate conversation if you see someone else with a book. You might get something from it.
Classes
If there is a language that you didn’t get a chance to practise at uni, or a course that you’d like to do in your local area, do it! Yoga and/or mindfulness seem to be incredibly popular at the moment, but cooking classes might not be a bad shout either.
Travel
The big, sometimes expensive one. There are hundreds of solo travel groups on social media, all asking for pals to go abroad with, meeting up across the globe. Obviously, this has its own risks, but pulling this one off could result in something incredible.
Volunteer
For me, it’s my volunteering at a local theatre as an usher that has made me feel the most included. It’s the only place where my theatre kid knowledge doesn’t go straight over everybody’s heads.
Postgraduate friendships are hard work, scary and sometimes hard to come by. But they can also be the most fulfilling friendships, leading to bridesmaids, groomsmen, godparents and even partners. Keep going. Keep working at it.
