One of the biggest steps in university life can be sharing your living space with others. You may be used to doing things a certain way from the household you grew up in, but come to find that things with your university flatmates are different. We’d all prefer if everybody got along perfectly all the time, but of course that expectation is less than realistic. It’s perfectly normal for grievances and spats to come up once in a while in your student halls or home. However, if left unresolved, these issues can prove to become stressful for everyone involved. So, here is how to mediate flatmate conflicts in order to create a better environment for everyone to live in.
See also: The Best CV Do’s And Don’ts For Students
Arrange A Meeting
It can be tempting to remain distant from the situation by communicating via text (or even sticky notes) but it’s always better to be direct. If someone has come forward to you with an issue, make sure you set up a time and place where both sides can be heard. This doesn’t have to be the dreaded “flat meeting” — it can be something as simple as getting pizza together.
Set Expectations
It’s important to get a sense of the standard each person holds for their flatmates. If you have something like a flatmate agreement that you’ve discussed in the past, it can be helpful to refer to this. Otherwise, there’s no better time to start than the present. Having each person weigh in with what they think everyone should be doing is a great way to get everyone’s opinions out in the open.
Create Productive Dialogues
If a flatmate conflict has been ongoing for a while, it’s easy for resentment to start bubbling up. This can sometimes come to the surface in the form of accusations. To prevent this, one thing you can do as a mediator is give each person space to express their individual feelings about the situation. By steering the conversations towards personal opinions and emotions rather than statements directed toward someone else, it will be much easier to find common ground down the line.
Pick Your Battles
One of the most important aspects of mediating flatmate conflicts is to pick your battles. Let’s face it — none of us are all that easy to live with. We all make mistakes, forget our responsibilities or leave messes at times. It’s much easier to focus on the shortcomings of others, however, than it is to confront our own. Oftentimes flatmate conflicts are more about small things adding up over time rather than any significant wrongdoing.