An ex-student rates your Friday pre-drinks.
Ah, pre-drinks. What a time. An important, definitive time.
Some make their decision early, incorporating vodka into their Aldi shop mid-afternoon. Others leave it to the cupboard to decide. Leftover rum with lemonade? Eh, I’m sure we can make it work.
Naturally, pre-drinks all lead us to the same purgatory. Are you going to fall off the wagon and not make the event? Have you formed a sober fate by not drinking enough? Who knows, that’s the fun of it. If one thing is certain however, your pre-drink choice almost always defines the rest of your evening.
Let’s rate your pre-drink choice.
The humble four pack
Guilty. As. Charged. Who can say no to a four pack at pre’s? Trusty and reliable, starting with a four pack is the perfect way to ease the night in, although maybe I’m biased.
Bonus points for cans, minus points for bottles. There needs to be an element of Frank Gallagher when making this choice, although if we’re being honest, a four pack isn’t really enough for pre’s. Depending on what is scheduled after pre-drinks, you might need a crate, or a keg.
Rating: 6.5/10
Vodka Coke
Anyone who chooses coke as a mixer makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable…I said it.
Are you tipsy or just running off adrenaline from the excess sugar and e-numbers? I think the latter. It’s unnecessary for pre-drinks.
Let’s not forget that vodka is made to be disgusting, designed with the same effect as the nail varnish to stop nail biting. Either taste the gross-ness or pick a drink with a lower ABV.
Rating: 5/10
Anything + Gin
Yes, yes and one more yes. Anyone who drinks gin with anything at pre’s has made the right decision. Gin and tonic? Classy and delicious. Gin and lemonade? Naughty and delicious. Gin and squash? Healthy and delicious. Thank me later.
Rating: 9/10
Wine
People who drink wine as pre-drinks are dangerous and shouldn’t be trusted. Panthers of the night, they’ll start out as socially appeasing and subtle in their mannerisms. They might be drinking out of a wine glass, sipping smugly in the corner, onlookers as other partygoers try to hunt down a glass to make a drink.
A few hours later be assured that the wine glass is gone. The glass has most likely been smashed, along with all dignity, self respect and elegance which was falsely presented at the beginning of the night. If you see a wine drinker at pre-drinks, swiftly walk away or at least make sure you’re not cleaning up their vomit at the end of the night.
Rating: 3/10
WKD/Sourz/Smirnoff Ice
There’s a reason WKD, Sourz and Smirnoff Ice have become synonymous with stereotypical teen drinking; these drinks are for children. Anything blue is not appropriate for people over the age of 18. So leave it out and maybe get a grip.
Rating: 0.5/10