The Best Bits Of That Liz Versus Lettuce Contest
micro photography of green leaf
Photo by petra cigale on Unsplash

The Best Bits Of That Liz Versus Lettuce Contest

Jennifer Prince October 25, 2022

In the Great British spirit of, if you don’t laugh you’ll cry, last week’s latest round of government incompetence was satirically tracked by the Daily Star and, you guessed it, a leafy green lettuce.

Lizzy the lettuce grew to fame following an article in The Economist, which compared the days in which Liz Truss had actively been working as Prime Minister (at the time of writing), with ‘roughly the shelf-life of a lettuce’. In the midst of highlighting her inadequacy for the job of Prime Minister, and her growing list of disasters – namely, crashing the pound – the Daily Star saw an opportunity not to be missed.

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Armed with a 60p budget, and a mission to make the UK laugh during the worst cost of living crisis in half a century, a reporter was sent to Tesco (clubcard ownership to be confirmed), bookmakers were phoned, and odds were provided on which would last longer – a rotting green vegetable, or Truss’s time in office. The rest, as they say, is viral internet history.

By this time, most know that Liz Truss could not Romaine as PM for much longer, leafing the lettuce to triumph as winner.

But not wanting to give you just the tip of the Iceberg, here are the best bits from Liz versus Lettuce.

Truss under a desk?

Following an absence in parliament on the 17th October, Labour MP for Wathamstow, Stella Creasy, voiced that ‘All we know right now is, unless she tells us otherwise, the Prime Minister is cowering under her desk and asking for it all to go away.’ – Penny Mourdant insisted that the PM was not under a desk, but the Star didn’t quite be-leaf her.

Lettuce joins the Tofu Wokeraki

Ex home secretary Suella Braverman branded environmental protesters as ‘Guardian-reading, tofu-eating wokerati’, in her defence of the governement’s new Public Order Bill, which could grant police increased powers of stop and search, disruption of protests, and make it an offence to obstruct major transport works. Lizzy seemed to identify with them, even raising a glass.

Night night, sleep tight

Do lettuce’s need a good night’s sleep? This one apparently does! Here’s Lizzy getting her beauty sleep for another day of contest.

Speeches from time gone by…

Harking back to a 2014 Conservative party conference, Liz Truss seemed obsessed with tea, pork markets, and cheese, championing British food over imports in a speech notebaly devoid of lettuces. Those in the politics-know spotted the joke here.

No one likes Mondays

Armed with Iron Bru and Pro Plus, our triumphant lettuce headed into Monday 17 October ready for the week ahead. Truss, however, was burying her head in the soil by the end of the week!

Hand in your lettuce of resignation, Liz!

Taking to the streets outside number 10, the newly-established local celebrity took a stand to demand Liz accept defeat and resign.

The best of British

Keeping calm and carrying on, a the lettuce was pictured next to a national treasure, the classic Greggs sausage roll, spurring her through to the finish line.

We have a winner!

Kicking the celebrations off with a few drinks, lettuce and friends seem to really know how to throw a party – complete with winner’s crown.

Lettuce for PM?

Projected onto the side of parliament in all her glory! Although a deserving winner, do we really want someone rotten in the seat of Prime Minister?

The best bits of Liz versus Lettuce are sure to leave a memorable (albeit very strange) legacy for the former PM.

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Jennifer is a Manchester-based freelance journalist and has been writing for Freshered since its launch in November 2021. She graduated in December 2022 from The University of Birmingham with a BA (Hons) degree in English Literature, where she spent much of her time writing and reporting for Redbrick Newspaper. A lover of variety, Jennifer covers topics ranging from university advice, live music and theatre reviews, to news and current events, but seeks to expand her work to cover sustainability and the climate crisis. Her aim is to make journalism more accessible to the everyday reader. As a GirlGuiding Volunteer in her spare time, Jennifer is never one to be boring. When she’s not writing she can often be found with her head in a book, trying a new craft, or on the dancefloor.