During my time at university, I had to deal with a lot of obstacles and issues which majorly effected my mental health. If you have read any of my previous articles, you will know that I dealt with loneliness during my first few months of student life. While this eventually disappeared, I had a lot of other mental health issues to deal with. Looking after your mental health is so important. At the time I went through it alone because I didn’t think others would understand, as I didn’t completely understand what was going on myself.
Although this was only a few years ago, I feel as though mental health is taken so much more seriously, and discussing it is becoming easier day by day. So, here is what happened to me and how I dealt with it.
Depressive episodes
Something that I didn’t realise was happening at the time were my depressive episodes. These consist of a low mood, along with tiredness, a change in appetite and loss of interest in things which usually make you feel good. They often faded away within 12 hours but, once they came, they felt impossible shake. They would often be triggered by alcohol or anxious thoughts, such as worrying that my flatmates were being off with me.
The two instances I remember most vaguely were before a night out, and while I was on a night out. The first instance, I felt absolutely fine, whilst pre-drinking with my friends. All of a sudden, I felt really small. My head began to feel foggy and, eventually, I felt so depressed I had to let my friends know that I couldn’t go out because I felt too down. Understandably they were all confused, but very understanding. I got into bed, fell asleep, and woke up the next morning feeling a little better, but confused. To this day, I have no idea where it came from.
The second instance was in a nightclub. I had just made friends with a big group of girls, who had invited me out. As they were already friends, I tried my best to feel included, but I just couldn’t. Eventually, I felt so down that I was sat by myself for an hour before deciding to go home. I felt so small and humbled by what had happened.
Not forever
Looking back on it, I think the best thing to do in both those situations was to remove myself from everyone else’s company, to avoid people mistaking my low mood for anger or resentment. I also didn’t want to ruin anyone’s time, as both of these situations happened at a time where people were having fun. I believe these low moods were triggered by alcohol but, honestly, I can’t pin it on one thing. All I know is that eventually, these depressive episodes began to disappear.
If you or a close friend ever goes through a depressive episode, keep one or two of your friends close by until you’re able to come out the other side. Having pals who understand what you’re going through will always help. They can offer comfort and company which should speed up your healing. If the low mood gets too much to deal with, ring 999 or the Samaritans.
Anxiety
To this day, my anxiety is at times unbearable, and I’m sure a lot of other people will relate to this. There weren’t any specific instances I remember being super anxious, as I often feel worrisome. But I was always dealing with something which related to my anxiety. Sometimes I was worrying about my flatmates not liking me, or being concerned when a friend was off with me and worrying about if I had done anything wrong, and so on.
Overall, I felt as though some of my anxiety was probably justified. At university I met a lot of people I didn’t really click with, including passive aggressive people who often made me feel like I was a horrible person. These types of situations always made me feel too anxious to speak up, so I would spend hours fixating on certain situations or comments.
On a few occasions, I spoke up and defended myself. But for many other instances, I kept my mouth shut because, to me, having friends was more important than anything else. This is one of my biggest regrets. I eventually learnt to deal with my anxiety. But it still effects me quite heavily from time to time. If you have the same issue, please speak to a doctor or seek counselling: I am currently in the process of starting therapy and I couldn’t be happier about it!
My panic attack
I had a panic attack in a lecture once, while thoughts of all of my assignments swirled around my head. The thoughts became unbearable, and my breathing became much more difficult. After a few seconds, I burst into tears and had to leave the room to get some air. The panic attack lasted only a few minutes, but I felt shaken and confused for hours after.
This attack was the result of my work load as I was concerned about getting it all completed, and being in the lecture was a constant reminder of this. These feelings will be very common among students. However panic attacks aren’t as common. If you do have one in public, the last thing you will think about will be anyone around you. Just focus on yourself and make sure you have the right space and setting to calm yourself down. I had a friend from my lecture look after me when I had my attack so, if you feel a panic coming on, grab a friend and quickly let them know it’s happening so they can stay with and support you.
What I learnt about my mental health
Some things I learnt after dealing with these mental health issues was that:
– Alcohol can have an effect on my mental health.
– Anxiety isn’t always based on fact but, if something is bothering you, speaking about it is always much better than letting it sit in your mind.
– Speaking up about your issues can make you feel better, but I found it daunting discussing it with people who didn’t deal with the same issues.
– Thinking about stressful things consistently will effect you more.
Mental health effects people in different ways. In my experience, it was always related to others and their perceptions of me. Surrounding yourself with good and understanding people always helps, but often isn’t a cure. A proper cure is to discuss your mental health issues with a doctor or counsellor – a university counsellor is often much faster to see, so look into this if you are struggling.
Don’t forget to take any time away from university that you need, visit your family for a weekend or take some time to look after yourself.
Read next: How to survive a uni night out when you have social anxiety