A few weeks ago, a friend called me out on my careless use of the phrase ‘living my best life’. I use it daily, if not hourly, often without realising. It is on my social media, in my DMs, even in my conversations. Obviously, the idea that I am ‘living my best life’ all of the time just isn’t true. This pressure to ‘live your best life’ is put on us (sometimes unintentionally!) by our peers, social media, even ourselves. This pressure makes your twenties way more terrifying than they actually are.
Leaving University
After recently discovering the phrase ‘post-graduate depression’, I realised that I wasn’t alone in feeling low after university. After being supported by a strict timetable and education plan for eighteen out of my twenty-two years, it was difficult to adjust to life without it. You’re suddenly alone on open road and it is SCARY, and that’s without everything else that comes in your twenties. Be gentle with yourself. Understand that you are not the only one feeling this – this feeling even has it’s own Cosmopolitan article!
Friendships/Relationships
For me, my early twenties (probably helped, or not, by the pandemic), was a period of finding comfort within myself. I wanted to try and find myself, as cliché as it sounds, before helping others to do the same. Although it was lonely at times (a LOT of the time), this process saw me cutting ties with people that I’d be clinging to unnecessarily. This sounds scary, but know that for me, this wasn’t an ugly experience, and it doesn’t have to be for you either. It is possible to ‘drift’ from people, and acknowledging this rather than letting it hold you back is the best way to deal with it.
The BIG one. I touched on it earlier, but having to make enormous, career-based, academic and general life decisions has made me realise how indecisive I am. Don’t get me wrong, I can choose what cereal I want for breakfast (most of the time), but being asked ‘What comes next for you, then?’ is just horrifying on so many levels.
I am always going to be indecisive, but the key is to, as far as you are able, to choose the path that makes you happy. Your twenties are meant for choices like this. If you aren’t already smashing life in an incredible career, that’s okay, explore opportunities in areas that you find interesting, not necessarily practical. My toxic trait is saying ‘Yes, I’m in! No worries!’ to everything when I am worried and I am absolutely not in but its too late to back out.
Don’t be afraid to say yes to everything, but also know your limits. Don’t be afraid to say no, either. Striking this balance is SO important.
Social Media
I couldn’t write a post about being in your twenties without including this. I won’t go on too much because we know the impacts of social media, both positive and negative. Seeing photos of your friends’ new babies, new houses, new marriages, new jobs is all amazing, but if any of those make you feel a little bit sic with the pressure to do the same, then that is not your ‘best life’. Make an effort to find out what is.
Be the main character. Romanticise your life. If you can picture yourself on a Tumblr collage at least once a day, you’re doing it right. Whether that is curling up in your Urban Outfitters bedding with your fairy lights on, or making the most of your sunny walk to work before your shift starts.
With your peers only posting their highlights on social media, this pressure can be overwhelming. Personally, I like to picture the blooper reel of those social media posts, and that makes me feel infinitely better. Embrace your blooper reel because, if nothing else, it makes your twenties a hell of a lot funnier.