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How To Not Fall In Love With Your Housemate

Emma Booth March 30, 2022

Living in close proximity to other people can be tough.

With an ordinary friend you have the option to escape from their bad traits. You might never know that they leave the fridge door open or bring randoms back from the pub at 2am. There’s a chance you’ll avoid ever being confronted with the fact that they keep mouldy bags of bread in the cupboard or don’t know how to use a bin. 

Bliss.

Yet with your ‘ordinary friend’, the lack of proximity often means you miss their obscene and unconventional habits. There’s a certain magic that comes with housemates. Living with people means you’re automatically brought into a sphere where you witness their honest intricacies and quirks. It often proves quite intimate, quaint… attractive maybe? Oh god, before you know it, you’ve fallen in love with your housemate. 

Avoid, avoid! Disembark the ship. Falling in love with your housemate will only open up an abscess of pain, made worse when they bring someone else home on a Friday night or steal your last pitta bread.

With this comes a few tips on how to avoid this rookie error. Although with that being said, please note that if your housemate is young Leonardo Decaprio or Megan Fox, these tips might not work. It’s worth a try though. Otherwise you’ll find yourself desperately googling ‘how to get out of a housing contract’ a week into the spring term. 

Close proximity means *false* intimacy

Spending a lot of time with anyone will make you feel closer to them, regardless of whether you have similar interests. Would you date this person if you met them on Hinge? Probably not. Are you normally into people that have holes in their pyjamas or are you kidding yourself? I think the latter, get a grip. 

What else is going on?

Be honest. Are you going through a dry spell? Have you recently broken up with an ex? Don’t replace the empty space of a significant other with someone who leaves their dirty pants on the stairs without good reason

Think of the children!

When two housemates get together, 9 times out of 10, anarchy follows. Tiffs and arguments between the couple suddenly become hot gossip in the house. The relationship is now everyone’s business and will regularly get scrutinised and picked apart. Before you know it, your housemates have chosen their side, disagreements regularly snowball and bish, bash, bosh, communal living is ruined. Use this as a deterrent.

F is for Friendship

Friends can be hard to come by, depending on your social eloquence. Any friend who also serves as a good housemate is even more rare, you need to keep it that way. Falling in love with your housemate will disrupt any friendship and it’s simply not worth it. Remember: F is for friendship and nothing else. 

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Having graduated from UAL in 2021 with a degree in Magazine Journalism and Publishing, Emma Booth is a writer, wannabe publisher, occasional art-maker and full time twenty-something. (edited)