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I Don't Want To Go Home: The Guilt Of Enjoying University

Imogen Bowlt September 7, 2022

I remember the first time I was about to go home in first year for Christmas.

It was the COVID year and students were all advised to leave early for the Christmas break.

I love my family. I have a very comfy and loving home. But there was something inside me that was absolutely dreading going home.

And the problem was, I felt very alone in this feeling.

Photo by Jannes Jacobs on Unsplash

Was I the only one?

Everyone I spoke to was saying how excited they were to go home, to see their home friends, etc.

I didn’t have much going on for me at home. I had friends, yes, but not a huge friendship group I would be seeing or talking to all the time. I didn’t have any clubs or groups I would be going back to.

It just seemed like my life had sort of… moved on.

I felt so much guilt for feeling like I had outgrown my childhood home. I was becoming someone else entirely to who I was in my teenage years.

I didn’t want to be in the place that I’d grown up in, and for no particular reason. It was a lovely place to live, I had fond memories, I was happy there. Was this bad? Was I being ungrateful? I wasn’t entirely sure.

It took me a while to realise that this is the very reason why people move away when they get older.

Most people will eventually outgrow where they grew up. Some people get to that point faster than others.

The right path

For me, I knew as soon as I went to University that I was in exactly the right place.

Feeling at home once you have moved away should be seen as a GOOD thing. It means that you have made the right decision!

Plus, it wasn’t until I met more people when I discovered that other people have had the same experience.

Leaving the nest and spreading you wings is something that you are meant to do and can be a positive sign that you are, in fact, coming into your own.

So, if you are reading this at home and feeling guilty, thinking about how you can wait to be back at Uni, just remember that this might just be sign that you are on the right path.

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Imogen is in her final year of Journalism Studies at the University of Sheffield. Her main passions are writing about lifestyle and busting myths about women's health and fitness in the media. She’s now taken on the role as Health and Beauty editor at Liberty Belle Magazine. Outside of her degree, she is training for her Personal Trainer qualification and cooking vegan meals.