There’s a reason why we get told not to talk about politics or religion over the family dinner table. But maybe it is not talking about politics and religion that is causing the problem.
Although social, cultural and political issues have existed for as long as human beings, in the last two or three years, there has been a noticeable shift in the political consciousness of our society. I think that this is largely down to the speed at which social media spreads information, and the scaremongering that often accompanies it.
As you grow older, it is only natural to have opinions that differ from your family. It is natural to have opinions that differ from you family to the point of arguments – to say otherwise would be sugar-coating. However, it is managing these differing views and the upset that they can sometimes cause, which is important.
I should mention here that I understand that every family situation is different. Some of these views may be damaging, triggering or harmful to others. Confronting some family members may not always be the right option. Whether it’s for reasons to do with sexuality, politics, religion or anything else, if staying silent is safest for you, please do.
Recognise that you may not always be right
I have certainly been guilty of this – having a closed mind to other’s views. Check yourself and do some research if necessary, but by recognising that you might not be correct in what you’re saying and acknowledging that is a great step.
Discuss calmly
By taking the time to calmly discuss, without raised voices, you are allowing adult conversation to lead.
Also, having a listening arrangement, whether that is allowing one minute, one sentence, one question each, can be beneficial. This allows for both sides to be heard equally.
Accept
Particularly between family generations, there does have to be a level of acceptance in some cases, as upsetting as this might be, that the other party will never change their views, or even attempt to understand yours. By having a level of acceptance, it places you in a position of self-preservation – try not to continue to let it drag you down if you can’t do anything about it.
Know when to leave
Perhaps one of the most important parts of being in a situation like this, is knowing when to walk away. However, by simply walking away without saying anything, you could be inflaming the situation further.
A simple, ‘I think we’ve both got a lot to think about, let’s leave it at that’ might diffuse what might have been a loud argument.