Sometimes it’s a little more complicated than ‘breathe in and count to ten.’ Anger has a way of catching us off guard, and once you lose your temper, it’s hard to rein things in again. Sometimes we do or say things we’re not proud of when we get angry. We’re all human, and we make mistakes. But there are strategies that we can implement to manage anger, and to diffuse a situation before it reaches a boiling point. So here is how to calm down when you’re angry.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
If a discussion is getting a bit heated, many of us have a tendency to deny the tension that’s creeping up. We might try to laugh it off, or insist that we’re not angry, we just want to get to the bottom of the situation. However, that lack of acceptance is what can lead us into dangerous territory, where those feelings continue to build up. So instead, notice when you’re feeling angry, even if to your rational mind it seems petty or silly.
Exit Stage Left
It’s completely fine to leave a situation that’s upsetting you. You’re much better off leaving politely when you begin too notice your anger rather than storming out when it gets out of control. Once you’re on your own, you can reflect on how you’re feeling, why you feel that way, and what’s the best way to go about dealing with it.
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Find An Outlet
Once we begin to feel tension, it tends to stick with us. So, to release these emotions, it’s a good idea to find a healthy outlet to do so. This could mean venting to a third party, writing your frustrations down in a journal, listening to music, or even going for a run.
Divert Your Focus
If your thoughts are jumbled or unproductive, another way to calm down when you’re angry is focusing on something else for a while is a great way to allow your body to relax. Put on a favourite TV show and immerse yourself in the lives of the characters, or busy yourself with cleaning, crafting, or anything else that requires your attention.
Find Compassion
Once you’ve had a chance to clear your head, try to imagine the situation from the other person’s point of view. Were they actively trying to hurt you, or is it more likely that it was a mistake or miscommunication on their part? Equally, find compassion for yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for ‘overreacting’ or ‘taking things too personally.’ Your feelings are valid, and they are simply your body’s way of responding to a perceived threat.
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