More than ever, students’ mental health is really important. As we come up the exam season and money stress on everyone’s find, it’s easy to slip into mental health problems. If you know it’s happening but don’t know what to do, we can offer some advice on how to check in with uni friends and how to help them.
There’s a lot to keep up with at the moment for university students. Keeping on top of assignments and finances, calling your family back home and also finding joy to enjoy yourself; it’s a juggling act. However, something that’s really important is knowing that your friends are coping with their mental health. If they’ve not been themselves lately or you’ve not seen them for a while, then it’s time to check in and see how they’re doing.
Reasons Why Your Friends Might be Distant
What you first need to know is what might have caused your university friend to become distant or decline. If it’s to do with a family emergency or something sudden then you can definitely offer your support and ask if there’s anything you can do to help. In a situation like that, it’s more likely that the feeling will pass, especially with the support of friends or family. They made need encouragement to visit home for a short while or want their minds taken off of things.
If it’s more concerned with mental health, then it’s a lot less likely it will just pass with time. It will probably be less obvious what the reason there may be and you would have found that the decline would have been more gradual. It could be they aren’t speaking to anyone and have just shut themselves away.
How To Check In With Uni Friends
You’ve probably found that the way you normally try and contact them hasn’t been working. Don’t immediately turn up at their door if that is the case, but just try a different approach.
Don’t text them questions they can give one-word answers to like ‘how are you?’ or ‘are you alright?’ Instead, open with ‘tell me how you are feeling’ or ‘what’s been on your mind?’ Questions like that show you’re not asking to be polite, but that you’ve actually recognised that they are struggling. The important thing is not to bombard them and to give them space to talk. Listening to all they have to say is integral for those struggling with mental health to feel as if they have been heard.
If you still haven’t heard anything at all from then, that’s when it’s time to physically check in with uni friends who are struggling. Do send them a text letting them know you’re coming over so that they are aware and you don’t cause further harm. It’s likely they won’t be in a position to host, so maybe take over some food if you’re concerned they’ve done been eating properly. A good hearty meal that you know they’ll enjoy is a great option; you can serve it to ensure that your friend is taking care of themselves.
When you arrive, you might discover that it’s a little dishevelled. Don’t immediately tidy up as you’ll give the impression something is wrong. Just be with them and listen to them. If you’re really concerned, then contact the university and family members. It’s very likely more help can be provided. But let your friend know that you’re planning on doing this to get their input.
Try and pop around fairly often and get them out of the student accommodation if they’ve not been outside in a little while. Gradually, you can start encouraging them to tidy or eat or get on top of university work. But this has to be at their own pace. The best thing you can do is listen and get other people involved to help.
Everyone Is Different
Some approaches work better than others. Only you are going to know how to check in with struggling uni friends in the best way that helps them. Some people respond well to tough love and others just need a friend. If you’re not sure what to do, then ask!
“What would you like me to do?” or “how can I help?” will probably go a lot further than you think. Your friend will know you care and will hopefully respond positively in a way that will help you both.
Don’t think that because a certain approach worked for one friend that it with automatically work for another. University is an amazing experience. But it can be hugely overwhelming and it’s not hard for a student’s mental health to spiral. Any part of student life can be a struggle, particularly worrying about money, the future and how well you are performing. The important thing is learning how to help friends in a way that will benefit them. Don’t let them slip under the radar. Check in with anybody that’s struggling and help get them back on track.